# Car 54

####
© 2005 / revised 2014
K Pelle

### Chapter 29:
Caution Construction Ahead - Signs and Signals Modified

I found myself pacing back and forth along the rough road, but since it was so hot that day I stayed in the shade of the trees. I was perhaps fifty yards away from the opening where the Jeep was parked, wishing I could see the two women even if I couldn't hear them. Then, I paused for a moment, wondering why I was so worried.

One thing that I'd taught myself was to examine my motives in order to discover my underlying feelings and desires. If ever there was a time when I needed to examine my own emotions and consider my desires, that was it, even though I didn't have any influence on the situation. After all there I was, standing in the nude, waiting for the results of a discussion that I could neither hear nor influence. To make things seem even weirder, you have to realize that discussion was happening between my present, live-in girlfriend and a girl that I had dated previously, if only for a short while. The strange thing was that my former date was trying to calm my girlfriend and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be involved with the discussion they were having.

I'd just reached that point when I heard Sandy call my name. So I shifted mental gears and trotted back to see what the gals wanted, now I was curious if Sandy had eased Carissa's mind about her body image. As I approached them, they were both staring at me. Carissa looked like she had been crying. Even Sandy looked quite sober. They'd moved the blanket into the dappled shade of a clump of birch trees and were sitting on it, side by side. When I was about twenty feet away from them, Sandy held up one hand, palm forward, as if asking me to stop so I did.

"What's going on?"

"We want you to answer some questions," Carissa sniffled.

"Okay. I'll answer anything I can."

"First, what do you see when you look at us?" Sandy smiled slightly. "In other words, describe your impression of each of us from your point of view."

"Do you mean a physical description?" I frowned.

"No, not really that so much what we look like, but how you see us as people," she smiled slightly more. "Could you give us an overall description of your impression of each of us?"

"Wow. This could take a while," I sighed. "Besides, I feel a bit like I'm stepping into a minefield. My descriptions may not be what either one of you wants to hear."

"We don't want details; we just want a general idea," Sandy said again, obviously trying to control the situation.

"Well, I'll have to cover the physical side too. For instance, you are very pretty, tall, a bit on the thin side, but quite sexy and you use those things to your advantage when you're dealing with people. You're losing your shyness and becoming more independent than you were when we first met, but you're still very friendly and caring. Right now, you seem almost afraid of the future, but you're calling on reserves to meet it head on. Being the oldest child in your family, you've learned to manipulate your Dad to get what you want a lot of the time, but you seem to expect all guys to act like him and we don't all do that."

She stared at me, open mouthed. "You think I want to manipulate you?" she finally managed to ask quietly.

"Oh come on, I'm a guy. You're a gal. All gals manipulate the guys around them, or at least they try to," I caught a bit of a grin on Carissa's face at that comment, so I went on. "Even Carissa manipulates me, but she's craftier than you. Unlike you, she may be more familiar with guys younger than her father because of all the dates she's gone on, so she may use tricks you haven't learned yet."

"Hey," Carissa said shortly, looking at me as if she was a bit upset, but I held up my hand.

"Whoa, don't get upset. I'm not and I'm the guy being manipulated," I grinned and winked, then turned to gaze at Sandy again. "As an example, think about our discussion about a bathroom this morning. Carissa didn't enter into it, but I could see the sneaky smile on her face as we were talking. She wants a bathroom in the cabin even more than you do, but she's already let me know her opinion and she knows all about the discussions my family has had. She's crafty enough to let you argue with me, knowing that it chips away at my resolve to put that project off for a while."

"Well, you know how I feel about that darn outhouse, so you know I wouldn't argue against her," Carissa shrugged, the frowned slightly. "Do I really try to manipulate you though?"

"Yeah, but I return the favour," I grinned. "I just lose more often than you do, but I expect that. After all, I've watched Mom and Beth run most things at home for years."

"Hmmph. Besides the fact that I manipulate you, what else do you think about me?" she demanded.

"Well, let's see," I grinned and lifted my hand to my chin as if I was thinking. "You're just the right height for me to cuddle and when we cuddle, you're very sexy, sort of voluptuous, smooth, soft and just a great armful of woman. Mmm, you're wonderful in bed too. Besides, you're great at teaching me how to please you, then wonderful about rewarding me if I do it well. Mostly though, I like your ability to learn quickly and how you can adapt quite readily to change."

I think what I said pleased Carissa, at least her eyes were shining and she was smiling at me.

"Wow," Sandy sighed. "You make me feel like a scarecrow in comparison."

"Well, I certainly don't think you're a scarecrow," I chuckled. "Heck, if you were, I'd have never have dated you in the first place."

"Well, since you described me sexually, what do you think she'd be like in bed?" Carissa asked.

"That's impossible to guess," I laughed and shook my head. "From what little I know about Sandy from our date, she's a very warm person and like you, she's extremely sensual. However, I think she's even more impulsive than you are. She's probably going to be a firecracker in bed, very inventive and expressive. She'll drive her boyfriends crazy, but they'll love it."

I think Sandy thought what I said was true, but complimentary as well. At least she was smiling, but blushing at the same time.

"So what would you do if both of us were to end up in bed with you at the same time?" Carissa asked another loaded question.

I thought about it for a minute and decided to treat her question somewhat humourously, so I grinned at her. "Run like hell, otherwise I'd go nuts and probably offend one or the other of you and I don't want to do that to either one of you."

"Hah. I want a serious answer."

"Then ask me a serious question."

"I was being serious."

"Actually so was I, at least partially. I would be afraid of offending one or the other of you. As well as that I'm certain that I'm not very good at paying the kind of attention needed to more than one woman at once. My body and mind are only meant to concentrate on one gorgeous woman at a time. So, since there's only one of me and there are two of you, I'd rather not be put in that position."

"Then you wouldn't be interested in having sex with two women at once?" Sandy asked.

"Interested yes, but realistic enough to know that I'd probably screw up and I'm not tempted to fuck up a wonderful relationship for a possible thrill."

"So what about playing around with two women, but only one at a time?" Carissa asked, but she was smiling.

"I can't see that working either," I sighed. "Can I be brutally honest for a minute?"

"Yeah, but aren't you being honest now?" she frowned.

"I'm being honest, but not to the point of being brutal about it," I tried to explain. "What I want to say might be taken wrong, but I think it's the truth. I'd want to be able to explain my thoughts before either of you got badly offended."

"I can live with that, if you allow us to offer our opinions too," she said, looking at Sandy who nodded in agreement.

"Well okay, but in a way, it's not complimentary," I sighed. "I might be able to handle a dual relationship, but I doubt if either one of you could, not without getting extremely jealous. That's not a fault on your part, it's simply the way men's and women's minds work."

"I think I know what you mean, but could you explain yourself?" Sandy asked.

"Okay. I believe in Darwin's theory of evolution," I smiled at her.

"That's an explanation?"

"Well yeah. It is, if you really think about it."

"Even I need another explanation on top of that one," Carissa laughed and shook her head.

"Okay according to Darwin, all animal life has a commonality that goes back to the very first protozoa, right?"

"Yeah, so?" Sandy grumped. "Get on with it."

"Okay I'll use an example that you can see in real life," I grinned. "If I had a herd of twenty mares and I turned out two stallions amongst them, how many foals could I expect to get from each stud?"

"I suppose you'd get fifty percent from each one," she frowned.

"Unh uh, wrong," I shook my head slowly. "You see between the mares and the studs, as well as Darwin's theory of natural selection, I'd end up with at least nine tenths of the foals from one stud. The biggest, strongest and smartest stallion would more than likely service almost all of the mares. We can see the fighting when stallions get together, but really those fights would be only part of what happens. While the fighting goes on the mares would be watching and they'd look for the stallion who does best and is most able to dominate the other horse. By doing that they can pick out the stud whose genes give him the best chance of survival when they chose a mate to sire their offspring. Women do something the same with guys."

I paused and both Sandy and Carissa leaned forward. I could see I had them hooked and waiting, but I wanted one of them to express curiosity.

"Well? Don't leave us hanging," Carissa caught on to what I was doing.

"Okay, women are a hell of a lot more intelligent than dumb old horses. They also want the biggest, strongest and smartest male to sire their offspring, but they want more than that. They want someone who is compatible with them, but on top of that they want a man who can provide them with the most care and greatest comfort. They want what's best for them and their children, but that's not just selfishness on their part either. In addition, that means that they can give their kids an advantageous start in the world.

"Women look for the best competitor in man's crazy world and set their sights on him, then they do their best to be whatever they feel he wants so they can mate with him. After they've convinced him to be their mate they know that they can expect that man to care for their children as well as he possibly can. That means that their competitive mate will give their children a head start in their life as well as providing great genes to carry on afterward. What I'm saying is that women take advantage of men's competitive nature."

"Are you saying women aren't competitive?" Sandy asked.

"Oh hell no," I laughed. "Look at you two for instance. Both of you are actually competing with each constantly even if you don't know it, and because of that I'm gaining the benefit of your competition."

"What?" Sandy squawked.

"We are not!" Carissa said, almost at the same time.

"Oh, but you are, you're just not physically fighting like the females of other species might," I chuckled softly. "Instead each of you is showing me how alluring she is, as well as how open minded and cooperative she is. The way I see it, both of you are trying to seem to be as attractive to me as possible, but you're doing it competitively even if you don't want to acknowledge that you are."

"You always were the smart ass who had all the answers," Carissa laughed.

"Hell, I don't have all the answers, I don't even know all the questions," I grinned. "But, I do know that until I brought attention to myself at school, I never had a real date. At first I was a laughingstock because I drove an old Model A Ford, but I didn't like that attention much since I was thought to be a joke of some sort. However, I really showed up on most people's radar when I traded the Model A to Frank Dolens for the car I have now. Of course after the grad party and that stupid picture fiasco I was suddenly the center of attention. Suddenly I was someone all the girls thought was worth checking out. Up until then I was just another face in the crowd to both of you and to almost everyone else."

"Hey, that's a bit cruel," Carissa protested. "I don't see it that way at all."

"Okay, then tell me what you knew about me before the night of graduation."

"Well, you were always quiet and really smart," she said slowly. "I always thought you were way too shy to do ... Oh, migawd, you're right! I really didn't know much about you, but that's as much your fault as mine."

"It probably was partly my fault," I grinned. "I was shy, but then I was always the youngest in the class and everyone always treated me as if I was a little kid, not a regular student. I'd been slapped down for trying to have anything to do with my classmates so often that I'd given up trying to make friends with any of them."

"I knew who you were before all that stuff," Sandy explained. "Mostly though it was second hand, through Beth and the twins. When I heard about what you did about those pictures, it really wasn't much of a surprise because it fit right in with what they'd already told me about you. So when you showed up in the hospital after hurting yourself, I felt I had to meet you. I guess you're right in a way, because you suddenly appeared on my radar then and I wanted to know you better."

"Yeah, you wanted to tease me about bed pans," I laughed.

"Will you get off my case about that damn bed pan thing?" she grouched, but blushed.

"Probably not," I chortled. "When I mention bedpans, you blush and making you blush is something I find enjoyable."

"Why the dickens do guys like to make girls embarrassed enough to blush, anyway?" Carissa asked. "It's stupid."

"No, it's not really all that stupid. I think it's another of those biological tests that come up almost automatically in the mating dance between a guy and gal."

"What? You have to be kidding me," Sandy protested. "How is my blush a biological test in this mating dance of yours?"

"Well, first off it's not my mating dance; it's the mating dance of human society. Secondly, it's a test of the maturity of the female who is being teased. The guy makes a reference to something that's slightly off-colour to the gal. If she misses the point and asks for an explanation, he assumes that she's not mature enough or knowledgeable enough to understand. If she blushes he can presume that she's knowledgeable, but inexperienced. If it doesn't bother her or she returns the smart crack, he'll probably gauge what she does or says to mean she's mature. For most guys, it's subconscious of course."

"I don't get the point."

"Well, it lets the guy know more about the physical and mental development of the gal. Each guy has his own preferences about what sort of lover he wants. Some guys are cherry pickers, who like to educate an innocent gal. Other guys like their peaches ripe and ready," I laughed.

"Where do you get all this stuff?" Carissa grinned at me. "I think I had the same sex ed courses you did, and I don't remember any of this."

"Oh what I've said didn't come from any course," I laughed loudly. "I've done a lot of reading about sex and biology, but a lot of the ideas I have about sex are my own. They come from what I've read, what I've seen and what I've inferred from my own experiences."

"So they're just your opinions?"

"Yeah, but they're opinions based on the observation and supposition of known facts."

"Jeez, what are you trying to become, a damn professor of sexology?" Sandy snapped.

"Nope, I'm just trying to find my way through the world in a way that allows me to judge what's going to happen next from what's happened before. All I'm trying to do is be a good guy who doesn't rock the boat too hard," I sighed. "Now, time is ticking away on us, and I think we should think about heading back in order to do the chores pretty soon."

I don't think either of them was ready to leave, but neither of them argued with me. Inside of ten minutes or so, everyone was dressed and we'd loaded the Jeep, ready to leave.

"Say, we've got time to go the long way, don't we?" Carissa asked, looking at her watch. "If we did that Sandy could get an idea just how big the ranch really is."

"You mean this pool is on the ranch?" Sandy asked.

"Yes, it's only half way down the upper portion, the part that Chris and Beth care for," Carissa looked back at Sandy with a grin, then turned to me. "Please Chris, can we go the long way? Then she can look down across the lower valley and see just how much more land there is below the cliff."

I sighed, looked at my watch again, then gave in. While I was driving along the trail, Carissa was explaining about Grampa Bender's lease. Then she was telling Sandy about the latest version of our lease agreement with him and about his latest will. Sandy was fascinated by the idea that Beth and I were literally going to be in control of the whole area we were driving through.

When I drove across the creek at the lower ford, both of them made comments about the small amount of water in the creek. I had to explain to them that since it was midsummer it was surprising that there was as much as there was. On summers in the past I'd seen the water in the creek reduced to a trickle at times, but this year the flow was decent.

Sandy was blown away as we stood at the drop off and looked out across the lower section of the lease toward my family's farm. She couldn't seem to understand that the whole area was under one lease because of the dependence of ranches on water, so I had to explain it to her. Without open water cattle couldn't range freely over an area and the only year-round source of water in the whole upper valley were the springs on Grampa Bender's homestead. As a result, when Grampa Bender had filed on his original homestead he was able to control the use of water downstream of his place. Because of that the government had granted him a ninety-nine-year lease on all the land between it and the next source of water, which happened to be on land that had been homesteaded by other members of my family. In fact my great grandfather, my grandfather and great uncle had filed on all three of the homesteads that stretched from one side to the other of the lower valley, so the valley walls defined the extent of our lease. I pointed out that a second creek ran through George's father's farm and joined 'our' creek near the closest corner of Dad's farm. Then a third creek came in from the other side of the valley near the far edge of Uncle Tom's farm and joined 'our' creek somewhere across the main road and over on the Davis's farm. I even mentioned that the third creek running through Uncle Tom's farm was the one running under the bridge at the big gully on the dirt road that we drove along coming up to Mile High Ranch.

Of course she wanted to know where the water in the creek came from in the first place and I repeated that it came from the springs that fed the lake at the top end of Grampa's homestead. Those springs were fed by underground streams, which came from the mountains off to the west of us. The only time surface water came down to us from above the lake was during the spring thaw or after extremely heavy rains.

I think it was almost more than Sandy could understand, so she was quite quiet on the drive up the other side of the valley and back to the cabin. When we pulled into the farm yard and stopped in front of the cabin, Carissa pointed past it and toward cliffs above the lake, telling her that was where the lease started. Sandy just shook her head as if she couldn't believe the whole explanation.

I'd just carried the picnic stuff and the blankets inside the cabin when the phone rang.

"Hello" I answered it.

"Hello, Chris? This is Frank Dolens."

"Hi, Frank, what's going on?"

"There's a regular race at Pine Lake on Sunday evening. Tom and George say they can have the car ready, but only Tom will be able to be at the race. Will you be willing to drive?"

"Umm, I guess. I can't think of any reason that I wouldn't be able to go."

"Okay then. Time trials start at seven, racing at eight. If you want to drive up early, we have a barbeque planned for five."

"Darn, I've got chores to do sometime that evening," I frowned.

"I talked to your Dad about that. He said that at this time of the year the chores are easy to handle. Beth and George are willing to do those for you if you want to go."

"Well, I guess I could then. Just a second, I'll ask Carissa what she thinks. Maybe she'll want to come."

"Well I certainly hope so. Her folks are planning to be there this time," he answered.

I put a hand over the mouthpiece and turned to Carissa. "Frank wants me to race on Sunday evening, but he's planning a barbeque for late in the afternoon. He wants to know if we can be there. Oh, and he said your folks would be there."

"Well, you're his driver," she snorted with a grin. "If Mom and Dad are there, that gives me two good reasons to go."

"Could I go along too?" Sandy asked quickly.

"You're not working?" I asked.

"Not until Tuesday, then I have a double shift," she smiled, and ducked her head. "I was hoping that I could stick around with you guys for the weekend because of the fight I had with Dad."

I just stared at her in surprise for a minute, then Carissa frowned at me and pointed at the phone. "Uncle Frank."

"Oh yeah," I literally jerked as I realised I was still holding the phone. "Frank? Carissa says she'll be there and we might have a guest."

"Great, I'll arrange for gate passes for both you two and your guest. Now I've got to go talk to a customer, but before I go, is there anything you need for Sunday? The barbeque is on me by the way, you don't need to bring anything in the way of food."

"I can't think of anything I need right now," I answered, my mind still wondering what was going on with Sandy.

"Okay. So long for now. See you on Sunday." Frank hung up.

I put down the phone and turned to look at Sandy who moved over to stand beside Carissa, then both of them looked back at me calmly. Carissa even smiled slightly.

"Okay, what's going on?"

"It'll be Sandy's birthday the first week of September," Carissa's smile changed into a smirk. "She's turning eighteen."

"Okay, and what does that have to do with her spending time here with us?"

"Well, you heard that she had an argument with her Dad ..."

"Daddy said I wasn't grown up enough to leave home and go to Calgary to take the nursing course," Sandy snapped, interrupting Carissa.

"Umm, do you have enough education to do the course? I thought you had to have grade twelve," I frowned, almost ignoring her talk about the family fight.

"No you don't. Actually Grade eleven is enough, not unless you want to get a degree and I'm not worried about that. I have a lot of experience too. I've been working some very long hours as a candy striper and filling in as a temp when the nursing staff is short handed. That's not the important part though. I have all the courses I need from school anyway. I was taking several grade twelve courses last year and I passed them all with good grades. Then I challenged the grade twelve English course and passed it. The only thing I was short of having for graduation was enough credits. I'm short about five credits to have my diploma."

"So why doesn't your Dad want you to go to Calgary?"

"Because he thinks I'll be vulnerable. First off, he's a control freak. Then I think that when I made the mistake with you and we broke up, he decided I was too wild or something. I don't know, and really I don't care," Sandy spoke sharply.

She was upset, but not crying. I think she was more angry than anything else.

"Chris, there is one thing she hasn't said that I think is important," Carissa sighed softly. "She and her mom have already rented the one side of that duplex from her uncle, but they haven't told her Dad yet. On top of that she's already registered and her course is paid for. The thing is she's all paid up for now, but unless she gets someone to move in with her, she won't be able to afford to stay for long. So, I want to move in with her, but I also want to be with you."

"Are you suggesting that we both move in with Sandy?" I managed to ask, even though I was astonished that she even suggested it.

"Yeah, I guess I am," she sighed. "I don't think you're exactly thrilled with that idea, are you?"

"No, I can imagine just what my folks will say to that idea," I sat down and stared at the two of them. "Both of you are eighteen, but I'm not. I'm sixteen. I'm legally classed as a child and I need my folk's permission to do lots of things."

"You don't look sixteen or act it either. Besides, your folks back you up on whatever you want to do all the time," she came back instantly.

"But that's because I'm living at home and they can give me guidance any time I need it."

"You are like hell living at home," she snapped. "For the last two months you've been living here and I've been living with you. Besides who set this deal up, I mean about Sandy being stuck here with us? Your mom and mine, that's who. I'll admit that they went along with Sandy's mom, probably expecting the idea to flop, but they aren't interfering. They're giving us the chance to see if we can make it work. I think we can."

"Shit, even if they went along with this, do you know how hard it will be on all of us? I'd be living with two extremely attractive women and going nuts because I wouldn't dare touch one of them. If I did, you'd go bananas and I couldn't blame you. You'd be worried about leaving us alone together for any length of time. Then too, Sandy would have to try to sleep with the two of us making love in the next room, which would probably drive her nuts. On top of that everyone is going to think that I'm boffing both of you," I shook my head. "I just can't see it working out at all."

"Look, I know it could be rough, but that's why I want to try things out for a few days here," Sandy sighed softly. "This setup wasn't our idea, but it does give us a test. We've already seen each other nude and nothing happened. What could be more sexually charged than that?"

"Huh, wait until Carissa starts making noises at night," I snorted.

"Oh come off it. My bedroom is right next to Mom and Dad's," she laughed sardonically. "I certainly know what two people having sex sounds like."

"Not unless your Mom is darn loud," Carissa giggled and I had to grin.

"I think that's too much information, besides she's bragging," I chuckled and winked at Sandy. "Right now I have some chores to do, then I think we should eat. We can talk about this afterward, but before we go to bed."

"Chris, could you do the chores on your own tonight? I was thinking that Sandy and I need to talk more while you aren't around. We could do that while making something to eat."

"I guess," I shrugged. "It certainly won't kill me to do some work. Do you want me to feed the dogs when I'm done?"

"No, we'll do that. You don't need them with you tonight, do you?"

"No, but they might follow along. You know Duke will tag along and the pup is starting to follow me too."

"Okay, we'll feed them at the same time as we eat then," Carissa smiled.

So I put on my work jeans and boots, then went out to care for the animals. It really wasn't much of a job now, not since all the cows and horses were out on the range at this time of year. All I actually had to do was to feed and water the pigs, then shut the chickens inside. After that I checked on the stallion and the mare that was penned with him. From the way they were acting, I thought she might have been bred that day, but I decided to leave her in the breeding corral with him for at least another day or two.

We'd built the breeding corral earlier in the year and we were over half done with the high pole fence on the new pasture meant for the stallion. In fact, that evening I and old Duke walked along beside the section of fence we'd already built. Beth, Carissa and I had done a darn good job of that fence. It was more than six feet high and sturdy enough to hold a stallion inside. When we were finished, we'd have two acres under grass which would be a lot better for a breeding pen than the smaller corral. When I was at the far end of that little pasture, I turned and looked back at the whole area around the ranch buildings. It certainly looked better than it had earlier in the year. In fact, the yard looked much better than it had a month ago.

Just as I was patting myself on the back over the amount of work we had done, Sandy stepped out on the porch and rang the old wrought iron triangle on the porch, letting me know that supper was ready. I had to chuckle about that, it was something you'd see in a movie, but seldom in real life. Usually we just called each other to meals.

While I was walking back to the cabin, I thought about that and decided that Sandy was a romantic. Then I realised that I was going to have to try to find out in the next few days just how romantic she was and if I was still the center of her feelings of romance. I sighed at that and old Duke snuffled my hand as if he sympathized.

"You're such a lucky old bugger," I looked down at him and rubbed his old muzzle lightly. "You don't have to worry about morals or anything else. For you, if a female is in heat, you screw her. I have to worry about the consequences if I even think about something like that."

He paused long enough for his sloppy old tongue to take a quick swipe at my hand, then he waltzed over to a fence post and lifted his leg.

"Was that a comment, Duke?" I chuckled. "Are you telling me 'pee on it, just go with the flow,' then see what happens?"

As usual, he didn't even deign to look at me, instead he trotted off toward the cabin, knowing it was time for him to be fed.

"You're no fucking help at all," I sighed.

I realized that I was following along the same path as he was and with the same goal in mind – filling my belly, but he could eat, then just follow his instincts. Unfortunately I was a human, not a dog. I had to think about my actions and I knew that I had some major decisions ahead of me. Somehow though I was afraid that the decisions I made in the next few days were going to be pivotal to the rest of my life. As well as that those decisions could very well affect several other people and right at the moment I wasn't too confident in my decision making ability because I knew I was being pressured. I really didn't enjoy that, actually I didn't even like to acknowledge that fact, even if it was the truth.

Both Carissa and Sandy were very quiet while we ate, only discussing the meal, but I was no ball of fire either. Even though I'd had a short nap during the day, I was still feeling very tired, after all I really hadn't slept much the night before. Since I was feeling sleep deprived, I was probably not at my best and brightest in any way shape or form. Carissa noticed how tired I was, and when we'd eaten, she sent me out to the porch so I could relax with my evening cup of coffee. Of course, I didn't argue, instead I sat on the porch, almost dozing off, while they washed up the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen.

When the two of them were finished in the kitchen, they came out to join me, but even then it seemed to me they were still speaking extremely quietly. But, perhaps I was somewhat dull witted because I was tired and almost dozing off. I wasn't paying their conversation much attention, so their discussion didn't really register until my name was mentioned.

"... but Chris was right about the way some women deal with folks who are well off. When Jess and Jean came home from school and said they'd made friends with a girl whose last name was Crawford, it was a big deal to Mom," Sandy was saying quietly.

"Whoa," I sat up and looked at her. "Could you go over that again, please? I guess I lost my concentration for a moment."

"Oh Chris, wake up for a minute or two," Carissa snorted. "Sandy was just taking a wild stab at guessing the reason why her mom is so much in favour of the three of us living together in Calgary."

"Why do you think that Sandy, because Beth is friends with the twins?" I frowned, still not understanding and trying to tie that idea in with what I'd heard.

"No, you silly ass," Sandy grinned at me. "It's because you're part of the Bender clan, well, Bender/Crawford Clan now I guess. Didn't you realise that your family controls more land than anyone else in the whole municipality?"

"So what?" I still didn't understand what she meant.

"You didn't hear anything I said, did you?" she laughed.

"Not really I guess. I think I zoned out for a while. I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I'll start over," she smiled, then sighed. "Mom really has a thing about owning property and I think the whole thing started because of her childhood. She was born and raised on a rented quarter section of land and her family went through the depression while they lived there. You see her family has never owned any of the places where they've lived, not even now. So Mom never lived in a place she could really call her own, not until she married Dad and even then, not until they bought the house we live in now. Mom is an absolute nut about owning property."

"Well, I guess that living through tough times like that probably would explain her attitude about property," Carissa reached out and took Sandy's hand in hers, then she frowned. "Just how old is your mom?"

"Let's see, I think she was born in 1929, because I'm quite sure that she'll be thirty-nine this fall," Sandy paused and her face took on an intense look of concentration, then she nodded. "Yeah, it would have been 1929, right when the depression started. Her whole family was very poor all through her childhood, first because of the depression and then because of wartime rationing, so I guess it kind of warped her perspective of things. She practically worships people who are well off or those who have a lot of land."

"But, I always thought that people on farms lived quite well during the depression?" Carissa frowned.

"Oh no, not really, at least not for some people," Sandy shook her head. "Mom's family wasn't exceptionally big as far as families went in those days, but there were still five kids and like I said before, they lived on a quarter section of poor land. Grampa and my uncles used to work for other people to earn enough money and food for them to live on, because the farm simply didn't produce enough to keep them going. There was an awful drought at that time too. When she was really young, Mom and her sisters had to herd the cattle along the ditches next to the road to let them eat the grass growing there, because the pastures were over-grazed. Then the dust storms started and even the grass in the ditches was gone because it was buried under drifts of dust. That's when times got really rough for them. Even the bread they ate was completely home made. Their flour was made from wheat that they ground up in a grain grinder that was meant to grind grain for the cattle. They'd just run the wheat through the grinder over and over, then screen it through an old window screen to get all the biggest unground bits out. Heck, they even made sourdough bread using a sourdough starter, just so they didn't need to buy yeast."

"I know that sort of thing happened to a lot of people," I nodded. "Even the people who had more land had a hard time of it. Grampa Bender tells some awful tales about it and Dad does too. They used to use the dishwater and bathwater on the gardens, and they used to snare rabbits to make rabbit stew, stuff like that."

"Yeah, but people with bigger farms had a better chance," Sandy frowned at me. "With more land, they just cut back some. I'm not saying it wasn't tough on everyone, but what I'm trying to say is that it was tougher on the little guys."

"Oh, I agree," I nodded. "Heck, farming can be tough even now though. Only a few years ago we had a really bad stretch when the weather didn't cooperate. We had too much rain come late in the fall one year, that was followed by an early frost, then snow, so that year the crops were wiped out. The next year we got hailed out, then for a few years we had a bad drought. It was rough enough that we're still paying the bank for loans we had to take out at that time. Farming can be darn tough if Mother Nature doesn't cooperate."

"I'm not saying it isn't hard at times, but from Mom's perspective, she could see how much easier life was for people that owned their land, compared to how it was for her family," Sandy shrugged. "Anyway, she had one friend living on a big farm in the neighbourhood, who used to pass along used clothes and stuff. So when the twins made friends with Beth, Mom made a big deal about it. Then you came along and showed an interest in dating me. At that time Mom was in seventh heaven."

"Umm, am I reading a lot into this or are you going where I suspect?" Carissa looked at Sandy strangely. "You don't think your Mom raised you to be a man trap for a rich guy, do you?"

"I don't know, but it sure seems suspicious, doesn't it?" Sandy shrugged her shoulders. "It's not just Mom either. I mean, just look at the way I was raised. Dad wouldn't let me date at all, not until a nice guy from a relatively well off family came along and expressed interest in dating me. Then he almost threw me at Chris, no real restrictions on where we could go or what we could do. Nothing but having me home by a late curfew and not letting me miss work. On top of that Mom never talked to me about any kind of birth control, but boy did she ever manage to leave me with the impression that sex was fantastic."

"Well sex is great, at least I think so," Carissa agreed with a wry grin. "But, I suspect you might have set up to get involved with someone like Chris and since you didn't know dick all about sex, you were almost certain to get pregnant. That is until Beth and her Mom came along and explained things. They shot that lack of knowledge all to heck, didn't they?"

"Yeah they did, along with some help from Janet at the hospital when I had wits enough to ask questions," Sandy nodded. "All of us are on the pill now, even if Jess and Jean aren't really old enough to get the pill without parental permission. We haven't told Mom or Dad though."

"The twins are taking birth control pills?" I stared at her.

"Well yeah! I talked them into it and Janet helped us out," Sandy nodded her head. "I mean I screwed up when I tried dating you and then I didn't get along very well with Wil, so I was sort of out of the game. When the twins started to show an interest in Tom, Mom seemed to think it was fine and even talked Dad into letting the twins both go out with him, I got suspicious and decided to talk to them. She hadn't said one darn thing to them about protecting themselves against pregnancy. On top of that she'd made certain that they overheard her saying things about how good sex felt, just like she had with me."

"You mean you think she's setting all of us up so that Tom or I might get one of her daughters pregnant?" I bleated, hardly able to believe my ears.

"In a word, yes," Sandy nodded. " When we were down swimming you were talking about women manipulating men. I got to thinking about that. I think Mom does that to Dad and he doesn't even realise it. I think she's been doing the same thing with the three of us girls, so I suppose we've been conditioned to make ourselves available to well off guys, maybe for years."

"Oh migawd!" she paused and looked at me, her eyebrows lifting in surprise, then she turned to face Carissa. "Gal, you'd better not leave me alone with him for any length of time. I'm a ticking, time bomb that's ready to go off!"

"Huh?" Carissa stared at Sandy, her face wearing an expression of total incomprehension.

I wasn't in any better shape. I was staring at Sandy just as hard and probably understood her words just as little. Sandy stood up and moved away from us, her body held rigid and her face twisted into a deep frown. She walked over to the porch railing, then spun to press her back against it as she faced us. After looking at us intently for a second, she spread her arms and grabbed the railing with both hands, clenching them tightly, almost as if she was holding herself in place.

"I think I know what's happened to me and to my sisters and it pisses me off!" she spoke through gritted teeth.

"I don't understand," I frowned, still puzzled by her words and actions.

"Chris for God's sake, don't talk right now," Sandy moaned softly, shaking her head and closing her eyes. "Just hearing your voice is setting me off and I think I'm going nuts."

"Can I talk?" Carissa asked in a whisper.

"Yeah, I'm not affected by your voice. Well except that I feel envious, even jealous."

"Jealous? Of me? But why?"

"Because you're with Chris and I'm not," Sandy said flatly. "This isn't about sex so much either. For some reason it's just that I see how much you two care for each other. You two are always touching and doing things for each other, almost without thinking about it. I guess I miss that more than anything, because I can see that you have each other while I'm all alone. I know part of that envy comes from what I've been taught and it bothers me a lot that my own family could be so shallow, but I still feel the envy and jealousy. If this is what I have to put up with when we're in Calgary, I don't think we should live together after all."

"Wait a minute, I do care for you," I couldn't help saying. "If I didn't like you, I wouldn't have gone out with you in the first place. Part of the reason that you see what you do with Carissa is the fact that we've lived so closely, almost in each other's pockets for a month and a half. Most of the closeness comes from the way our lives have become entangled in that time. As for doing things without thinking, we know each other very well now."

I paused, then grabbed Carissa's hand. "We know we can expect certain things from each other, so we've gotten into the habit of thanking each other for the support in small gestures and actions. Now I'm not saying that sex isn't part of it, but it's not the largest part. The sex is a wonderful bonus."

"I think what Chris is trying to say is that no matter what you feel now, over time your feelings toward us will change as you get to know us better than you do now," Carissa smiled at Sandy.

"Yeah, but right now I can see him sitting beside you, holding your hand, and it bites the big one. I keep thinking that if I hadn't pushed so damn hard and screwed up so badly, that could be me, not you."

"Would it help if I wasn't here right now?" I found myself asking. "I could go for a walk or something."

Carissa squeezed my hand tightly as she gave a quick negative shake of her head and a mild frown. "Or would it be better if you sat between us and we both sat close to hold you?" she offered.

"Even after what I said about being conditioned to be a damn man-trap and aimed right at Chris, you'd still trust me that much?" Sandy whispered, staring at Carissa in astonishment.

"Honey, your mama didn't have Chris and I pegged very well. I don't use the normal play book and Chris is too much of a nice guy to hurt either one of us, at least not intentionally," Charissa chuckled as she shoved over to make room between us. "Now I think you need a cuddle and we'll talk out your problem. You can trust us to be nice to you."

At that moment I was a bit apprehensive about Carissa's idea, but I could see that Sandy was really wound up and it worried me. I was sure she was hurting and I knew myself well enough to know that I had to try to help her out, but I wasn't sure that Carissa's methods were the best way to go about it. actually, I wasn't sure if I wanted to cuddle Sandy, because I wasn't sure what my reaction was going to be. Unfortunately I could see that Sandy needed our help and I had no idea how to calm her anger, so I made the snap decision to trust Carissa's judgement, hoping that it wouldn't rise up and kick us all in the butt.

So when Sandy looked directly at me and raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question, I just smiled and nodded, hoping that I was making a wise choice.

### Chapter 30